SOBER IS THE NEW KALE
I grew up on a farm in Michigan. It wasn’t a big industrial farm with thousands of pigs, cows, or acre upon acre of corn. It was what would probably be called a “hobby farm” today. We had a herd of dairy goats, a few pigs, horses, bunnies, lots of cats, dogs, a couple sheep and a big garden that we planted in the spring and harvested throughout the summer and fall. We sowed enough for what our family of six would need for the year. Canning, freezing, pickling everything we could for the winter months. I think today someone might refer to it is a “lifestyle” but that seems a bit highfalutin to me. It was hard work, with chores in the morning and evening every single day, but the rewards were immense. Without knowing it we explored the lifecycle of frogs in ponds, built forts in the back 40, and rode our horses through glistening poplar forests drenched after sudden Midwest thunderstorms. I’ve seen and assisted many births of many different kinds of animals and got to experience the joy of baby goats eons before they were a TikTok phenomenon.
One of the most prolific vegetables we had in our garden was kale.
Fast forward more than a few decades to present day…
I had a passing thought on one of those 3 am ponders I’m so terribly fond of, and even sober me can’t seem to shake. It got stuck in a loop in my head. A sentence that sparked some Marie Kondo joy and plain old just made sense to me. And I could not get it out of my mind.
Sober Is The New Kale.
Here’s the thing with kale: way back in the day, say, somewhere in the ballpark of 1979, my mom would stand in the kitchen sautéing the freshly plucked deep forrest leaves in white vinegar and black pepper all the while singing its nutritional praises. She was an organic gardener WAY before it became a whole foods plant based buzz word and cost three times what “conventional” veg tallied. So I grew up knowing this fleeting summer greens powerhouse would feed my bones, heart, muscles, and blood and make me strong enough to play (and work), hard, from dawn to dusk.
(Side-note: she also fed us liver and onions at least once a month “for iron and to put hair on your chest”. Everything that was good for us, that we didn’t want to eat, was touted to make us the equivalent of Burt Reynolds with his burgeoning black tufts that billowed from his barely buttoned button downs. Why would you tell your daughters this? It’s one of the many mysteries that comprised my mothers wisdom)
Fast forward again to about 2013:
KALE
KALE
KALE!!!!!!!
Kale making headlines EVERYWHERE!!
Roasted kale, sautéed kale, kale chips, kale smoothies, kale in soups, stews, salads, tray bakes.
Kale is the new superstar superfood.
Thing is—if you were from a crunchy, organic granola touting, goat milking hippie that made cheese in a cheesecloth draped over a bowl on the counter before it was called chèvre— you knew the fantastic benefits of kale practically since birth.
But all of a sudden, the whole world was getting in on the secret (that really wasn’t a secret) and going nuts.
Kale was making headlines. Literally.
Everyone was eager to hop on the kale train.
All this time a meager few had known, for probably a millennia, how much your body craved kale. But for a majority it was the new health Messiah.
Which brings me to sobriety.
There are some who have known the benefits of steering clear of alcohol through the ages. Some for personal reasons. Some for physical health. Some for mental health. Some for emotional or even spiritual beliefs. There are even those that simply do not like the taste (gasp).
There is a much more robust demographic that guzzles the stuff. Their reasoning is probably similar to those who do not partake: for physical, mental, emotional health and they love the taste!
But as I dipped my toe into the alcohol free (AF) arena and then took the full plunge—I discovered a vast community of #sobercurious, #teetotalers, #sobergirl, #soberissexy, #soberliving, #recoveryrocks, #mocktail and #zeroproof hashtags with tens of thousands of people behind them that had all seen and sought the sober light. And actually, just like the new kale people from a decade ago, I was coming late to the party.
The movement had already begun.
But I was jumping on that wagon anyway.
As kales hay-day is winding down—in no way lessening its notoriety as THE green to indulge in daily—but by now everyone on the planet is aware of it—the kale paparazzi has slowed a bit.
And it seems they are directing attention onto this new(ish) sober lifestyle thing. And it’s taking the world, or at least a certain corner of social media, and a few medical journals, by storm. Articles, books, podcasts, essays and blogs abound. (Just checkout the lists upon lists of celebrities who no longer drink, or possibly never did.)
The benefits of both have been around forever. But now, the masses are taking notice, some even heed. And just like kale, some may choose to experiment, nibble, bite, try, stab, or take sobriety for a spin for a month (or longer) to see what changes or revelations may come.
That month may turn into six months. A year. Or beyond.
So as the headlines for kale wain, and I discover the AF movement, all of the hoopla for both somehow intertwined in my subconscious sleepy brain and a new phrase was born. One I couldn’t get out of my head. One that seemed to deserve to go from a phrase to a title. A title for what I wasn’t sure. But I found it funny and apropos and maybe someone else would too. I could take the freshly formed idea and turn it into a way of working out my stuff.
I’ve always done my best exploring and growing by putting pen to paper. And so…
Sober Is The New Kale
My foray into taking my sobriety, whatever shape it may take, and going beyond the trend. Really trying to see how my life looks and feels without a running tally of cocktails, wine, hard cider and niche IPA’s.
Orange is the New Black
Facebook is the new MySpace
Greige is the new Taupe
Streaming is the new dvd
Mid-century modern is the new modern
Baby goats are the new puppies
Sober is the new kale
And I’m down to partake in both.
Jennifer