Definition: Pink clouding, or pink cloud syndrome, describes a stage of early addiction recovery that involves feelings of euphoria and elation. When you’re in this phase, you feel confident and excited about recovery.  My fluffy pink cloud floated by and parked up above around day 14 and stayed just under two months. Not long enough in my book. I’m not bitter or anything. Wink Wink.  Overnight I was getting amazing sleep. As in: I’m nine years old and just swam in the lake under the sun with my sister all day, sleep. No more 3 am potty runs that culminated in insomnia while anxiously going over how much I drank,…

Whenever I took a break from alcohol there was always an end date. A light at the end of the tunnel. A reward for this unimaginable feat. I counted down to the day that everything would return to its regularly scheduled program.  Life could continue on as it had: shiny, bubbly, juicy, hazy and boozy. I kind of pictured it as stepping back into the full color version. The lively life. Parties —with  the occasional predicament my loosened lips got me into. Wednesday night gimlet soirees attended by a grand total of one while I prepared dinner. Many many many wine nights on the couch Hulu and Netflixing (those are…

If something is keeping you from being fully present and showing up in your life the way you want, then deciding to change that thing is an actual matter of life and death, you know? It’s the difference between existing and actually living.  We Are the Luckiest: The Surprising Magic Of A Sober Life Laura McKowen This.  I read these lines this morning. This is it. What I feel. My being, right now, in print. Exactly what I mean when I say I need to quit drinking. How strongly I feel about the conclusion I’ve drawn about the vast difference between what my life was and what I want it…